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    Credit: Guy Venables

    Word of the week: Sussex Royal

    24 January 2020

    Definition

    The trademarked, collective name of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex (Revenue-generating adjective).

    Derivation

    Prince Harry and Princess Meghan resigned from the British Royal Family to turn themselves into a celebrity brand – the ‘Sussex RoyalTM’. The brand has been carefully crafted to encapsulate their deeply felt personal values of self-worth and privilege encased in something known as ‘social awareness’. It is understood that the couple will launch a range of charities with associated revenue-generating enterprises. Opportunities include: a private jet business to tackle climate change; an organic food range to raise awareness of world hunger and a clothing line to end the oppression of female actors. There is no truth in the rumour that plans include a Sussex RoyalTM potato to compliment the Jersey Royal and the ‘abdication spud’, officially known as the King Edward.

    The Queen has insisted that the couple must not use the title ‘HRH’ within their product range and rumours that the couple tried to negotiate the use of a title once popular in the Royal household – The House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-GlücksburgTM. – are entirely false. The Sussex Royal TM brand is estimated to be worth $400 million. This far exceeds the value realised by the brand coined for a previous power couple, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt – ‘Brangelina’. It is hoped that the Sussex Royal brand survives for a great deal longer.

    Use

    “Fish and Sussex Royal chips please, wrapped and ready to go.”