How the Grinch stole Christmas
Where to begin with this, the story of segregation in the white supremacist south of Whoville, where greenskins are forced to live in squalid shanty towns, dividing Who’s and What’s along racial lines under ‘Jim Carey’ laws.
Far from being evil, the Grinch is the victim of a socio-economic system that is designed for him to fail; discriminated against for his ethnicity, he is also stigmatised by stereotypes over the size of various parts of his anatomy. His contributions in Who-centric education are played down, and he is forced into menial work, while the suggestion that he might become romantically involved with a Who is frowned upon.
Who society is not only racist, but exists in a crony-capitalist cycle run entirely at the behest of the Christmas-industrial complex. Spirituality has given way to mammon, and corruption is rife, with elected officials openly boasting of using taxpayers money for bribery and to spend on women. The police, meanwhile, willfully misinterpret the law on an arbitrary basis, making a mockery of the criminal justice system. Nobody is held to account, and as a result, frenzied, gluttonous consumerism leads to waste and pollution on a catastrophic scale, which, naturally, the Grinch is forced to subsist on.
The film’s sole saving grace is the strong voice against Who racism and pollution made by teenage, Nordic-looking female campaigner, Greta Thun… er, Cindy Lou Who.
It’s a Wonderful Life
The wickedness of the global financial system is laid bare in this film, as the townsfolk of Bedford Falls are used by a white man, George Bailey, to maintain his lifestyle as a banker. Through carelessness George loses other people’s money, but just as he is about to receive his comeuppance, he is saved by an angel sent from heaven (another white man) which serves to teach us the lesson that bankers will always be bailed out by friends in high places.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
What happens when one society decides to colonise and appropriate the culture of another for its own financial gain? We find out in this grisly tale, where a slave population existing in a world run by an absolute monarch Pumpkin King are directed to orchestrate a coup against neighbouring Christmastown, deposing, imprisoning and torturing its legitimate ruler, Santa Claus.
Legalised gambling and poisonings of opponents are regular occurrences in Halloween, where child soldiers are used to commit atrocities, and terrorism is considered a genuine political tool.
The moral of the story is that nothing but trouble can come of any of these things, and Jack suffers for wearing the traditional, sacred robes of the people of Christmastown for his own amusement when he violates a no-fly zone and is shot down by the US Airforce.
This is the story of a young boy who, eager to cut down on air pollution, elects not to take an unnecessary flight with his family, and instead decides to stay grounded at Christmas. But at its heart, this is the story of white male privilege: Kevin finds himself living in a palace by himself. Had he been female, the patriarchal system would never have allowed him to be left unattended; had he been an ethnic minority, the police would surely have shot him, believing him to be a trespasser.
Muppets Christmas Carol
Perhaps the most problematic film on this list for its use of the word ‘humbug’ — which, as anyone will know, is the most offensive, sexist, racist, homophobic, violence-inciting and above all Tory expression in the English language.
That the main role is played by white male Brexiteer Sir Michael Caine, who liberally deploys it, only adds to the insult.
All in all, the film has positives in that it presents a multicultural cast, even if they are a bunch of muppets.
But it falls down for a lack of strong female leads, with the exception of a dainty white ghost of Christmas past, and a group of piggies — disgusting stereotyping of the strong woman in Victorian Britain.
There is also the fact that characters show a total disregard for global warming with a constant desire to burn dirty fossil fuels like coal, instead of renewable alternatives, and the stereotyping of the Marley’s as two old white Jewish financiers. Which they were, but therefore makes it wicked that they appear bedecked in chains, when clearly neither is the victim of oppression. Metaphors are not an excuse. Oh-ho-ho-ho.
Gremlins is a difficult film on many levels, not least for promoting the illegal trade of endangered and exotic animals to be kept as pets. Deforestation has decimated the global mogwai population, as well as the fact that they are highly prized in several cultures as a delicacy, with microwaved gremlin pate the most sought-after dish.
The film also glorifies and glamorises eating disorders — sure, feeding them after midnight may turn them into unholy creatures of unspeakable horror, but it’s wrong that people who don’t conform to societal norms on eating be portrayed as gremlins. Body positivity has to be inclusive, and cannot shame those who enjoy late-night snacks, even if it turns them into revolting monsters. It’s not civilised; fun, but in no sense civilised.
An immoral saga of infidelity, entitlement, and power plays, this is a film all about men objectifying women. The Prime Minister ends up in flagrante with his secretary, a breach of employer-employee etiquette, and the pair are found engaged in ‘diplomatic negotiations’ at a school, which, under normal circumstances, would see them added to the sex offenders’ register.
From a young age, a boy is taught that it is acceptable to follow a girl to solicit her attention, in this case through an airport, violating multiple tenents of international security, while the bloke from ‘Murder in Paradise’ flies across the world to use his accent to manipulate Americans into sleeping with him. Bill Nighy flashes people on TV, Alan Rickman not only has an affair with his colleague but patronises his wife on her taste in music, whilst the best man at Keira Knightly’s wedding engages in grotesque candid voyeurism, before stalking her at her marital home in the dead of night. Plus Rowan Atkinson is on screen for less than a minute, which is worse than all the above combined.