Life
    Culture

    A short dictionary of Brexit

    31 January 2020

    [Brek-sit or Breg-Zit]

    A portmanteau of ‘Britain’ and ‘exit’ – the withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union on 31st January 2020.

    Brexit Referendum

    An event where people are asked to make a binding decision, then to be told they shouldn’t have been consulted in the first place.

    Brexit voter

    A person who considers themselves to be an active citizen, but is unaware that they are too working-class to perform this function.

    Brexity

    An adjective which identifies an object or person that is utterly appalling or simply horrid.

    Brexiteer

    A person with a reckless buccaneering spirit, who harbours the irresponsible belief that we are capable of running our own country.

    Secret Brexiteer

    A person who maintained public respectability and expressed the appropriate despair and despondency during conversations at work, whilst harbouring secret delight at the rebellious spirit of their fellow citizens.

    Brexit Negotiations

    An attempt to undo a decision that you resent by letting yourself be steamrolled by your opponents.

    Brexit Deadline

    A target date on which nothing will happen.

    Brexit News Reports

    A stream of interviews and reports designed to induce anxiety, fear and worry about the prospect of leaving the EU.

    Bregret

    The process where Remain campaigners projected their feelings of sadness and remorse on to Brexit voters in the hope that their feelings would catch on, in the absence of new arguments to remain in the EU.

    Brexit Party

    An organisation that was formed to ensure that the referendum result was enacted. Also, a display of drunken abandon on Friday 31st January, in and around Parliament Square.