7 reasons a no-deal Brexit will be good for Millennials

    22 March 2019

    The end of March is nigh, and thanks to the EU’s latest pronouncements, a no-deal Brexit is still a very real possibility. The idea of No Deal causes most millennials to quake in their Balenciaga boots. But there’s nothing like a bit of positive thinking to get you through a crisis, right? Here are 7 reasons a no deal Brexit will be good for millennials.

    1. Brexit provides a faultless scape goat

    We all need a go-to excuse to get us through life’s ups and downs, and now Brexit can be that for everyone. No longer do you need to rely on permanently delayed tubes, or numerous dying aunts – Brexit is here for you. Parents question why you don’t have a job? – Brexit. Why were you late for the party? Brexit. Need an excuse to break up with Mr wrong? ‘I’m so sorry, it’s not you, it’s Brexit’.

    2. Instagrammable blue passports

    Need we say more – these are going to look so cute and retro on social media. Nothing says citizen of the world more than a flash of royal blue in the departure lounge.

    3. No more Instagram envy

    Glamorous holiday snaps are constantly flooding our social media feed causing massive FOMO. But when using your phone abroad comes with huge costs, these will dramatically reduce. Sitting in a dreary office you’ll no longer be plagued by images of French wineries and Spanish coasts. Goodbye jealous Monday mornings.

    4. Finally affordable housing

    Once house prices crash, millennials may finally be able to jump on the ladder. A few more avocados on toast to enjoy guilt-free.

    5. We’ll all be eating sustainably

    Wine from France, Olive Oil from Italy, Manchego from Spain. Forget it! With tariffs and taxes, our much-loved European staples will be trickier to source. Which means more sustainable local, eating! Get your allotment ready now and start growing your own dinner (Gluten-free of course).

    6. The perfect protest photos

    Protests make amazing picture opportunities. Nothing looks better on an Instagram feed than a witty pun on a poster in a sea of other caring millennials walking through the streets of London. With all the disarray that no deal is expected to cause, there’s sure to be plenty to protest about. Markers and biodegradable glitter at the ready!

    7. Everyone will embrace wellness

    Health Secretary Matt Hancock claimed the UK is now the world’s largest buyer of fridges as the NHS stockpiles drugs for no-deal Brexit, but once these run out, our millennial health fads will no longer be ignored; indeed, holistic medicines will be all we have to go on. Those courses I took in dance therapy and magnetic healing aren’t such a waste of money now, are they Karen?!