A Guide To Becoming an Activist in 2019

You are nothing without a cause. Find yours before the world falls apart

We look around us in 2019 and we feel that our world is falling apart. We fear for our own society and the future that lies ahead, but what should we do? Here is your guide for action.

Firstly, pick your cause:

  1. Personal oppression

There is an oppressed person within all of us, just waiting to get out. Your oppression may be latent and inert, but with hard work you can nurture it into a thriving victim identity. Successful activists are able to discover the entirety of social injustice within their very being. Ironically, it tends to the most privileged activists who are the most successful in identifying their suffering and making it conscious. However successful you are, oppression is yours if you want it.

Action: Create your personal sense of injustice and demand that it is validated by those around you. If they refuse to accept your new identity, this proves that they are responsible for your oppression.

  1. Education

In the olden days, socialists believed that the working class would overthrow capitalism and run society. Nowadays, we understand that it is young people, especially children, who will inherit the earth. They are the new ‘class’ whose futures have been stolen by Brexit, climate change and tuition fees. From toddler to teenager, the young must be mobilised. Since the 1980s, socialist ‘entryist’ groups have joined the Labour Party. It is now the responsibility of activists to infiltrate schools and foster a youth uprising.

Action: Become a teacher and instruct children about the greed and selfishness of adults, especially their parents. Organise school strikes on Friday afternoons and turn the summer fete into a rally to save the climate.

  1. Plastic straws

We have all seen the pictures of plastic islands floating in the Pacific and fish stomachs filled with plastic waste. Cynics have argued that this problem is caused by the inadequacy of waste disposal systems in some developing Asian countries, but the facts show that the use of plastic straws in places like Shrewsbury, Stoke-on-Trent and Cardiff is ultimately responsible. The casual way that people sip drinks through the wrong straw, shows that they are the oblivious to the destructive nature of humanity itself. By forcing society to imbibe liquids through fragile paper straws instead, you will help people to act with humility in the face of the natural order of things.

Action: Organise eco-raids on tea shops and cafes and cleanse them of plastic straws, cups. Go one step further and destroy plastic fixtures and fittings.

  1. Fighting racism and fascism

If you are not attracted to any other causes, fighting fascism is your last resort. Although there are no organised militias on the streets and racism is socially unacceptable, fascism lurks hidden and latent. It is the people who, on the surface, appear to be perfectly reasonable who are likely to be harbouring fascist tendencies. Your job is to identify and expose them.

Action: Organise groups of fellow activists to dab ‘fascist’ on the Twitter accounts of those you suspect. Accuse fellow citizens of racism and if they fail to denounce themselves, expose them as the fascist that they really are.

Don’t sit back and listen to the older generation telling you that society is more prosperous, free and tolerant than in their day, get active!


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